*ALBUM REVIEW*
*Retrieved from UGO site on June 12th, 2003*

I hate Weezer.

OK, before you take off your glasses and headgear and prepare to knock me in the head with your clarinet case, hear me out. I admit, first and foremost, there is some scent of talent coming off Weezer. Though they've always been a bit predictable, they've only really wandered into really annoying territory once ("The Sweater Song"), and that was back when I was in high school and thus is long forgotten.

It's probably the "I'm so clever" perma-look Rivers Cuomo's always got, or maybe the arched eyebrow, or…well, OK, anyway, I really don't know. And while the new band Rooney is essentially a younger, tougher Weezer, somehow my urge to kill does nothing but fade when exposed to their groovy brand of alt-rock. Where Weezer grates, Rooney massages, and I feel nimble enough to ride a bicycle, yet confident enough to play tennis. It's all I can do to keep from moving into a barn and making my own candles.

Rooney's eponymous debut album is finally available, and fans will be glad to hear it captures the energy and enthusiasm of the band's live shows, but delivers a sound polished enough to deflect lasers with. While those who have gone before have come near the target, Rooney hits the bulls eye, and the result is something rock's elder statesmen should take notice of.

Check out the confident album opener and debut single, "Blueside," a Beach Boys-meets-early-Radiohead stomp complete with UFO sounds and a "Good Vibrations"-like acapella harmony. The track is able to encapsulate what's to come on the rest of the album, while being strong enough to stand on its own. I'm not really sure what a "blueside" is or if I want to see one, as the band offer in the chorus, but it's nothing if not catchy.

The album's sound continues the beach vibe established with "Blueside," but washes the harmonies through some feedback and somewhat noticeable production. You can hear bits and pieces of some Nineties one-hit wonders from time to time - a Nada Surf rhythm here, an Eels pacing there. The result is innovative, but familiar. The key is the talent, and if the band were merely imitating, the album wouldn't be as consistent as it is.

Centerpieces like "If It Were Up to Me" and "Daisy Duke" highlight the band's ability to be both edgy and enthusiastic, singing about subjects like relationship domination and bragging rights in an almost flirtatious style. Musically, it's like something off an ELO album in a somewhat more straightforward presentation.

Other tracks, like "Kristen" and "Simply Because" find the band rejecting potential love interests and screening calls. "Why am I such a bad guy?" vocalist Robert Carmine asks. "I'm just doing other things, like you do other things." "Terrible Person" finds Carmine feeling like he should feel guilty for leading a girl on and telling all her secrets to his friends, but not really feeling too bad about it. "I don't think I'll ever be sorry," he says. "No, I'm not sorry for a thing I've done." The confidence is really where Rooney shines, and here we find an alt-rock band that, rather than howl at the moon over a lost love, is actually doing the dumping themselves. (And somewhere in the distance, we hear the dim cry of Rivers Cuomo getting his glasses stepped on.)

Things catch up with everyone on "Sorry Sorry," an Elton John-like rocker where the women out there get an apology "For making your life a living hell." "Shakin" finds the band channeling the Rolling Stones in the "Shoo-shoo-shakin'," chorus, and really sounding pretty good at it.

Lyrically, there aren't many surprises, but what's here is better than most of the tripe out there in radio land. I really like the "Where will I paint my life?" passage in "Blueside," and the "You don't know me so well, I think you know that now" chorus of "Daisy Duke" flows in such an assertive and well timed manner, it's apparent Rooney take more time on song structure than your average fly-by-night alt-rock operation.

The CD comes enhanced with two live Quicktime videos that show off the musicians' respective enthusiasm for the songs they're performing. Lyrics are included in a somewhat generous booklet for a debut band, but unfortunately, no one ever explains what a "Rooney" is. My guess is it's either slang for "booger," or a rare type of Canadian platypus, but ultimately, your guess is as good as mine.

At first glance, Rooney will seem like just another bunch of guys cashing in on rock's recent comeback. They're worth a second, third and even fourth look-just make sure you're not wearing glasses...

Music: B+. Some excellent guitar solos and confident drumming make for some songs that a lesser talent would have rushed. There aren't many surprises, but it takes talent to realize less is more.

Lyrics: B+. Is it possible to say Rooney is the male sex's answer to "No Scrubs" and have it be a compliment? The listeners know they all still dig girls; they just don't like being played. There's no Eminem-style dismemberment here, just some good-natured bragging.

Overall: A-. Weezer after self-confidence camp, Rooney really are better than the sum of their parts. Listen to it after you get dumped, get a new haircut, then do what the rest of us do and beg her to take you back.

Standout Tracks on Rooney:
"Daisy Duke"
"Blueside"
"If It Were Up To Me"

If you like Rooney, you also may like:
The Strokes: Is this it? (2001)
Brendan Benson: Lapalco (2002)

-Christian Hoopes